I’ve been back in Chattanooga since Wednesday afternoon and have had a chance to sleep–finally–so I think I’m up to a vacation recap now. By the way, I’m typing this while J103 is doing a remote behind me. Headphones, don’t fail me now!

Wednesday, May 17 – Left Chattanooga at 4pm, connected through Atlanta, finally arrived in Detroit about 10pm or so. Watched about 3 hours of TV between the layovers and flights–the laptop is paying dividends–watched the Grey’s Anatomy finale on the flight from ATL to DTW, then had to suffer through the 50ish-year-old woman sitting next to me that would NOT shut up and had to grill me on the happenings. “I don’t watch that show, but what was going on?” She seriously asked me that. I looked at her and said, “If you don’t watch it, why do you care what happened?” Then she left me alone after that. Glower power! Anyway, Dahlon met me in the baggage claim area, and then we hopped into the Kia minivan that Knee procured.

After that, we stopped in at some bar to grab a quick bite, as I hadn’t eaten since lunch. Dahlon had the misfortune of assuming that we are actually getting bar food, and ordered a veggie platter thinking that it would be made up of deep-fried goodness. Nope. Just cut up raw veggies with some dip. I have never seen anything quite like that at a bar before. After food, we went back to Knee’s and relived our old roommate days of the mid-90s by watching Skinamax for a couple of hours before heading to bed.

Thursday, May 18 – Tiger game day. Got a meandering start to the day, finally made it to the stadium a few minutes before game time. Day game, Businessman’s Special as we in the “biz” call it, and the box office had 1/2 price upper deck tickets. $6 for a major league game. Beautiful. Knee’s friend had already gotten to the game and had found a nice open space in section 115 (NOT in the upper deck), so we made our way there and settled in. Comerica park is nice. Really nice. Especially when compared to the absolute dump that old Tiger Stadium was. Game was pretty good too, exciting finish and a victory for the home team. Weather was decent–sunny for the most part and maybe a bit chilly but no rain.

After the game, it was a trip to Mug & Jug for some Toronto supplies. We had a good Indian dinner (mmmm, Dosai) too. Then back to Knee’s for a little more Skinamax and some sleep.

Friday, May 19 – Alg showed up sometime before 9am, we packed up the Kia, stopped by Enterprise to add him as a driver, then set out for Canada. Stopped for gas in Port Huron (and an Egg McMuffin too) then hit the bridge. Alg, Knee and I all presented our passports / birth certificates to the nice lady in the booth, but Dahlon had only brought his license. The nice lady turned out to be not-so-nice. She gave him a lecture and many stern looks, leading us to believe that he might be spending the weekend right there, before finally letting us pass. Made it to Toronto and eventually (after a wrong turn or two) to the Residence Inn. No sign of D-Piddy so we started to settle in. Someone gave him a call and found out that he was eating somewhere and would be back soon. A few minutes later, he bursts into the room carrying this:

He had Jello shots waiting for us. How thoughtful! They were leaded too–I’m still trying to figure out how in the world he got the gelatin to set up. After a few of those, we went for some food. Had a great dinner of Indian / Chinese food that was super hot and super good. Our server was not very proficient in English, but got the food order OK. Piddy’s drink order, not so much:

“Absolut and Tonic please.”
“Absolut?”
“Vodka Tonic?”
“We don’t have.”
“I saw the blue bottle up front.”
“Oh. Blue?”
“Yes, Blue. Blue and Tonic.”

I think we all knew that it wasn’t going to end well. He ended up with a Labatt Blue. Wow, not even close. I guess all things considered, it could have been worse…Back to the hotel for planning. Piddy found the Absinthe Cafe over in York, I jotted down directions and we set out. We couldn’t have been more lost. We drove all over the place for longer than I care to tell you before abandoning our search. We still have no clue where it is. Finally gave up and decided to stick pretty close to the hotel, as it was raining pretty hard and we didn’t want to try and navigate downtown traffic. Ate dinner, then D-Piddy and Knee (hereafter referred to by their new names, Bacardi and Cola) stuck their heads into Club Paradise, the sketchy looking club across from the hotel. We got the OK and stepped in. Big club with a ticket booth, bar area, and big dance floor area. Completely deserted. There were about 8 Jamaican guys playing dominoes and that was it. Our bartender, Miss Cleo (yes, I did make that up) said that Saturday night they would be bursting at the seams. Yeah. OK lady. Had a beer, played some pool, went to bed.

Saturday, May 20 – Massive and completely decent breakfast at the Residence Inn. Eggs, sausage, waffles, fruit, oatmeal, bagels, toast, potatoes, etc. I’ve paid for breakfasts that were much worse. It was “kick around downtown” day. The Distillery District was the first stop. Nice little shopping area, some art galleries and neat little shops and restaurants. They were prepping for a Jazz Festival later that day. St. Lawrence Market was the next stop. I got some Apple Cider and a Pastrami sandwich, so I was as happy as I get. Great farmers market that I could have spent a lot of time at. Art Gallery of Ontario was next. Disappointing. They are doing a lot of construction there, so much of the museum was closed off. Nothing head turning that is for sure. After that, the Museum of Contemporary Canadian Art. This was more my speed. One really cool exhibit with metal wire work and doll heads. And the “All-Seeing Eye”:

They also featured a photo exhibit that was a little heavy handed in its environmental message. But the pics were cool. Walked around and window shopped for a little longer before returning to the hotel for naps. Cola picked the eats that night, Thai Basil on Bloor St. Unbelievable. One of the best kind of fancy but not too expensive meals I’ve had in a long time. Great food and funky cocktails that we all enjoyed. Check out the PDF menu on their site if you want to be tantalized. Bar hopping after that. Irish pub with live music that would have been great if they volume would have been cut in half. Walking and window shopping before settling on (my choice, sorry guys) what we later found out was the gayest non-gay bar in Toronto. It was moderately quiet, which appealed to me. A guy we dubbed Liberace was rocking out to what we can only assume were his choices on the jukebox, as well as eying Bacardi up and down. The bartender / owner then came over and told us that some guy that was just like David Blaine was up front and she was going to send him back to “entertain” us. I looked at the rest of the fellas and said, “drink fast.” That was about it for us and we went back to the hotel for the night. Except for Bacardi and Cola who were hellbent on going to Club Paradise again. When we turned into the road by the hotel, we were greeted by the sight of about a billion cars parked outside the club. Miss Cleo had not been exaggerating when she said they would be busy. Alg, Dahlon and I turned in while Bacardi and Cola tried to get into the club. I guess that the club wouldn’t let them, probably because they weren’t Jamaican, so instead they hung out in the common room at the Residence Inn and chatted up a couple of guys that were living there.

Bacardi and Cola knocked on my door about 2:45am. I ignored them. They continued knocking so I finally gave up and got the door. “Dude, we’ve got meat pies.” It seems that they had visited the Jamaican cafeteria truck that was parked outside of Club Paradise. I got out of bed and we went to their room where they regaled me with the tales of their evening. “We’ve got to hurry and eat, because the guys downstairs said we had to go back down to the club when they close because that is when all of the action spills out into the parking lot.” They then told me about Ding Dong. Who is Ding Dong? We still aren’t quite sure. According to the front desk lady at the Residence Inn Airport Toronto, he is Jamaica’s greatest dancer and entertainer. And he was in town to judge the Short Shorts contest at Club Paradise on Monday. Ding Dong became the main topic of the rest of the trip, becoming the stuff of legends. Bacardi and Cola made their way back to the club, and after I finally went back to bed at about 4am, hoping they wouldn’t knock on the door again. You’ll have to ask them what they did the rest of the night.

I’ll post the rest of the trip highlights later this weekend–keep watching this spot.